you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
