my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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