I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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