Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
