It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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