evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
