Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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