He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
