Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
it's like heaven, but drunker
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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