I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
