I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize