Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
