nut hugger
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
