yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
