I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
