we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize