Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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