Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
