she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
