If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Randomize
