Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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