No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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