True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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