now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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