someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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