oh god the rape fog is back!
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
