Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
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and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
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He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
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