I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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