One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
