Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????