No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
