I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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