Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
