Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
