Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
