Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
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