just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
