Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
