my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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