would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
