This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
