There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
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