my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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