Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
