handjob tips. give me some.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
