She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
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