HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
