I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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