I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
