Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
