ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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