Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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