I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
