No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
