So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
