I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
