idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Too much gin, very little bucket
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
