Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
