wake up i wanna do it froggy style
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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