We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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