At least make sure they are 18
Why
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Randomize
